Feelings...6 .. Parenthood..

Our common man has a very inquisitive mind.. something or the other always seems to float thru his restless brains and he isn’t at peace till he finds a plausible answer to them..

The latest to haunt him is a subject called ‘parenthood’, or more specifically, ‘fatherhood’… did I mention that our man is married with a girl child? Now, it’s of course a different subject that he is not close to his family and that there seems to be a Chinese wall built between him and the mother-daughter duo.. but the fact is, he feels emotionally disturbed about being not-such-a-good father, after all..

But, can someone please help me in making him understand that he is not the first bad-father in this world, and certainly not going to be the last one!  In fact, if we look around us, there are enough and more examples of fathers who have been absolutely disastrous  in their parental roles !

Who better can be an example than Gandhiji himself?? Popularly known as the “father of the nation”, he has been a complete stranger to his 1^st born, Harilal Gandhi (who later on became an alcoholic, embraced Islam to provoke his father, again converted back to Hinduism, before finally dying penniless and an alcoholic)… imagine his son saying that he wished M K Gandhi was not his father !!

Or, maybe Nelson Mandela… completely distanced from his first daughter, who was only a child when he went to prison, and a mother herself when he was released… but Nelson and Mack could never come close, and Mack accepted him “the way he is.. distant and aloof”, and made peace with this knowledge..

The point is, even our national (and international) heros have their own achiness’s heels… so, why cant our common man? Can he not take solace from such learnings? Maybe not, because, at the end of the day, its his own flesh and blood that is severed away from him, and it hurts !!

Reasoning cannot rise above emotions, not at least for common mortals…

Thru the lenses of a common man ..3

The common man is perplexed… What is stronger – muscle power or mind power?

As a meek commoner, he always thought that the former is.. He has always been scared of physical violence (he had a violent childhood, you see and the shrink he used to see, told him that the fear of being physically abused has been deeply embedded in his sub-conscious !) Anyways, but there is this equation that he cannot solve..

Remember the failed terrorist attack on the Parilament a few years ago??  The government of India put it squarely on terrorist outfits like LeT who enjoyed direct patronage of our neighboring country’s militia and state. Pakistan, as predicted, denied strongly (well, what better can you expect from them gutless, spineless creeps??)

The Indian government, in a show of power, moved thousands of troops to the borders… Pak did likewise, and the military build-up across the western border threatened both the countries with an imminent war.. but while India fretted and howled, Pak did not bat an eyelid !!!                                                                                      With passage of time, the buildup remained a status quo, and the media, too, lost interest as more pressing news at home took precedence.

But the 26/11 changed the complexion completely… the world waited with baited breadth that India would retaliate with all its muscle power, and Pakistan did anticipate a strong military lash-back and hurriedly started making frantic preparations…

But strangely, nothing happened!! Not a single soldier moved, not a single leaf stirred… there was no show of strength, no threat of war.. but the Indian PM and his senior ministerial colleagues came down heavily on Pak at every international platform and confronted them with facts about their government machinery’s (aka ISI) involvement … irrefutable !! Pak, as anticipated, squimed and struggled when tightly cornered, but finally admitted that yes, there were involvements of LeT & ISI and promised the international community that they will take suitable action against the guilty..

Our common man was mighty impressed… Without batting an eyelid, India had managed to achieve what it could not since independence, that is, to bring Pak to its knees before an international audience… the credibility of India as the largest democracy went up many-folds..

Hats off, Dr. Manmohan Singh, and your band of colleagues…  Jai Ho !!

Thru the lenses of a Common Man..2

The common man is confused… completely!!

He couldn’t comprehend the power of the press, the mouthpiece of public…. Almost overnight, all the pot-holes adorning Delhi streets, vanished, replaced by smooth tarmac like surfaces.. Wow!!! Surely, with all that bashing the government (albeit, the organizing committee of Sri Kalmandi & Co.) got from the public outcry, couldn’t have resulted into this, he wondered… “After all, we are middle class, and what can a middle class common man do to the big and powerful”, he thought…

The middle class in our country has a peculiar character…they are the intelligentsia, the “pada-likha babu” class… they snigger down at the majority of politicians who adorn the highest seats of power in the country, but consider our PM and ex- Home Minister PC as intellectuals … they rub shoulders and tend to equate themselves with the more elite, civil servants or members of the armed forces…So, at the first opportunity, they shoot down the politicians, holler for their blood, but not the bureaucrats (unless they are blatantly exposed in wrong-doings – “but aren’t they pitifully paid for the kind of background they come from and the responsibilities they shoulder?” our common man asks) ..

Take for example, the 26/11 incidence…. The largest city, the icon of our financial status, was held at ransom by a handful of gun-tottering terrorists, while the entire state machinery (barring a handful of the bravest) stood immobilized.. look at these incidences:

1. The Fire Brigade, when called in to evacuate the 6^th floor of the Taj, where the family of the hotel’s GM and, on another floor the entire global top brass of Unilever plc and their Indian bosses were stuck, argued that they had no mandate to rescue people and merely shrugged as they “didn’t have the orders “… orders from whom??  By the time things did clear, all was left were the corpses of the hapless family… mercifully, no harm came on the way of the Unilever Chairman or any of his Directorial Borad members..
2. The Police merely stood at guard, while people were mercilessly getting killed inside. stating they were ill-equipped to tackle such hostage situations and that the army should be called in...
3. The army, when called in, threw a ring around the hotel and made tall claims to the media that had little relevance to truth… they fought over who should have the control and authority, rather than spring into action..
4. Someone called in the Navy’s commandos… but when they arrived, they would not enter the hotel until they had a written request from the state government..
5. The RAW, our prided intelligence wing, had prior intimation of the possibility of such an incidsence happening… in fact, they had intercepts of messages from the sea (from the boat the terrorists were travelling) … but it seems that the vital information got lost under other information flowing in…
6. The hero of the event were, undoubtedly, the little acclaimed NSG, who came out with flying colours from the episode..  

Doesn’t our bureaucracy take “responsibilities”??

Sure, they do…. The aftermath resulted in the intelligentia going after the politiciands and not the bureaucrats/army chiefs …. the CM and Dy CM of the State resigned… so did the Home Minister of the country …. Many heads in the bureaucracy and the armed forces were expected to roll, too… but interestingly, none did .. not a single one !!!

Interesting saga of our bureaucracy and the elitists, isn’t it??? our common man muses, too….

Feelings...5 .. through the lense of a common man...

All along we have been talking of the common man's feelings... of him being in love, dilemmas that he undergoes, his insecurities, etc etc...

But then, he lives in a society and has to face other challenges in life too... (we all do, so whats great about him in particular?) well, he doesnt understand the stock market and the impact of sensex moving up, nor does he realises that how the upwardly moving bullion prices affect his life, but he does understand that when potato and onion costs Rs 30/- per kilo, it pinches his pockets .... and he wonders what has gone wrong !! His employers did not raise his salary last year, citing recession as the reason, but prices are going up.. yet the government is shouting that the consumer price indexes (both weekly wholesale as well as the overall) do not reflect any surges...poor chap, he is an utterly confused state !! whom does he believe, the politicians running the government, or the reality that he is facing when he buys potatoes and onions !

Staying in a place called Delhi, and with the CWG happening, he was expecting even more chaos !! Poor guy ! The roads were dug up till the last day, there was muck all over, traffic snarls making life miserable, were so very natural for our man... "This is life", he accepted, and wondered what the voice of the media can do when he reads his morning newspaper with his first (and sadly these days, his last cup !! he cant afford more, you see)... "whats the point in writing and highlighting all these issues in the papers when nothing is going to happen?" he mused.... after all, who is going to listen to the voice of the common men like him? 

Interestingly, and surprisingly, as the CWG progresses and draws towards the end, he realises that reaching office from home, and vice versa, was, after all, not such a difficult thing during those days.. in fact, traffic was smoother than what it used to be on normal days... he  suddenly realises the power of the media, the voice of the multitude...

His mind floats back to the 26/11 days ... those 3 fateful days when the largest city of the country were held at ransom by a fistful of scums, while the entire nation fidgeted and floated, as indecisive as ever... and he compares what happened a few years earlier during the attack on parliament...

we shall look at his perspective and his take on these incidences in my next post.... till then, chiao...

Feelings...4

A friend reading my posts have commented that, perhaps, the common man has spoiled everything by saying "I love you"..... the lady in question was also a "common woman", and she was attracted by his voice, his intellect, et al... and the love that could have grown slowly, was killed at roots when he uttered those magical 3 words... possible?? But, had he not said those words at all, do you think his lady-love would have responded the way she did?

"Love" is mystifying, isnt it? Sometimes one feels it is palpably there in the air, and at other times, it is just not ... but, what is it, in reality? Is it some strong bond connecting two individuals, or is it some kind of compassion one feels for the other, or is it something that needs to be just felt and be happy about and not being able to express? What is it, my learned friends?

The common man's dilemma supposedly seems simple enough... he is madly in love with this lady and dreams of her in his 24-hour routine.. she does not leave his mind, not even for a second... it seems some kind of obsession thats eating into him day and night... there's some kind of a madness woven around the whole thing.... he knows that he hasn't been, and will never be able to, in such deep love for any woman in his life...

The question he asks himself often... (and its my question to you, too, dear reader) Is this love, or possessiveness? or the sheer fright of losing someone / something very close and dear to his heart?

Does rationality play any role while dealing with "feelings"? For example, while he rationalises that even though he may love her, it is not necessary that she will also love her equally fanatically.. also, she has her life, her thought process is different, and it is quite possible that she may have come across someone who is far more appealing to her (for whatever reasons)..... if this is what he rationalises, why cant he accept the same at the "feelings" level????  While we human beings tend to become very objective and rational while we are distanced from the problem (when it is not "our" problem, that is.. it is someone else's problem), the same 'we' get extremely personal and emotional when the issue affects our lives?

Does "mind" rule over the "heart", or vice versa? What is more important, mind or heart? Now, this is not the Hegelian/Marxian option of mind over matter, its mind vs heart, rationality vs emotions.....

I leave you here, my dear reader, with this question....

"The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind..
The answer is blowing in the wind"... (Bob Dylan)

Feelings...3

We were on the subject of "Pyar ka side effects"...

Lets look at this.... this hero of ours (the common man, the typical Mera Naam Joker) had told his lady love an innocent, 'white' lie... well, its like this.. every morning he is the habit of sendling a lovey-dovey "good morning" message to his lady (cho chweet, isnt it? a picture-perfect situation) .. this particular day, he sent it a little late, and bang came back a sharp retort about being soooo late (he is a slave of time, too, besides being that of love, the circumstances and, of course, his fiancee !!!) Our man, in his queerest common sensical ways, tried to joke and pacify her by saying that he actually had sent the message in time, but in this world of technogy, the msg seems to have reached her late ! Little did his common sense allow him to realise that the human innovation called "cell phone" actually records the despatch time (if not anything else) , and not the receipt time !!! Bang came back an even sharper retort (expected, isnt it?)....  by this time, there was this small little buggy thing called "conscience" biting into his mind..."why did I have to lie to her on such a small matter?" he thought..... the little bug started becoming larger and larger as the clock ticked by, and he grew even more restless.... and finally, when he got an opportunity to speak to her, he confessed that he had told her a lie and he was extremely sorry for that... (thank God he had the guts to own up at least ! But dont you think our common man has very little common sense?)

The point that emanates, however, is different... he felt miserable telling a lie ... now, how did the lady feel when she saw through the lie? Did she feel angry that he had to lie on such a petty matter? Or, was there a feeling of one-upmanship that "heyy, look, i have caught you lying?" .... what can it be? Can anyone guess?

Lets complicate the situation a little more (after all, we are talking about 'side effects', arent we?)... how would it be when our hero suspects that his lady love has told him a lie, too? how should he feel? let down? disappointed? angry?

Lets not forget that he's a very common mortal, with everything to lose and very little to gain (the reverse of the marxist theory, can you see?) ... it emanates from a deep sense of insecurity, of the fear of losing whatever little is in his possession...

what does the reader think??

Feelings ..2

So, what was I talking about? A common man's feelings? Yeah.. that right... the right to fall in love..

Well, nothing can now be done about it, now that he has ACTUALLY fallen in love... all the powers in the society cant stop THAT feeling of love, can they? So, it is fate accompli that he's now in love...

Now, while love is a heady feeling (all of you who have experienced it, would agree with me that its indeed a heady feeling), it has its side effects (Love ki side effects !!!) .... and that is, to fall MORE madly in love.... hopelessly entangled in love, one may say ... (well, dont bring Paul the Octopus in here as soon as you hear about entanglement... leave him to predict football matches only !!)...

So, our common man was hopelessly entangled in love... well, he has a right to be entangled, doesn't he? well, as he lay entangled in his lady love's arms, he realises that he is more and more into love with this wonderful species called "woman" ... (not generic, but specific to THAT woman, of course!)

But then, the obvious question is, what about some more side effects??? We Indians love anything that adds spice, isnt it??? Even in simple potato chips (dont believe me? Just look around all the potato-chips brands and look at the Twangy Tomatos and spicy masalas and..... ), not to mention the spicy Chicken Tikkas and Kebabs... woops ! even the veggies are not spared.. ask the lady love of our common man and she'll tell you.... Ohhhhhh, btw, I didn't tell you, na, that she was a complete veggie?? well, more of her later, lets look at the spicy side effects on our poor common man...

Now, he is in real, hopeless situation.. he's in love and cant dream of anything else except his lady.... morning, afternoon, evening, night.... she comes in his dreams, and goes away to her far-off land  as soon as wakes up in the morning...  

Can someone help him to get out of this morning sickness??? :)

Feelings...

Does a common man feel? does it pain when he is hurt? or bleeds?

No one knows, excepting him... no one bothers, in fact... and, why should they?? Life is a struggle, and everyone is in a rat race...

Take for example, when this common man fell in love... well, dont laugh.. he actually did ... head over heels... witha complete stranger whom he has never met.. only talked over phone... and that too for about a couple of weeks...

But then, like a sentimental, emotional fool that he is (all common men are emotionally disturbed, you see) , he fell in love and went a step ahead to propose to her even !!! (Look at the cheeky guy ! How dare he, a common man !)

And, as fate would lead him, he actually met this woman of his dreams... she was even better than what he had dreamed about.... wow ! He couldnt believe his eyes, when she walked past him, pulling a small travel bag behind her..... Red in colour? I mean, the bag's colour, dumb head !!!

So our Common Man was delighted !! The question is, does he have a right to be delighted? after all, he is a common man....

What he did thereafter with his lady love, is of course, anybody's guess...........

A starter's dilemma....

Hii folks.. Just now created my blog-site and trying my hands at it...

As usual, there's butterflies in the stomach... kya karu isko leke? what am i supposed to do with a blog site? what am i supposed to put sdown here? anyone out there to help a "common man"?

A common man... thts me... no name, no identity at large.,.. just a faceless one in the multitude..

what does he think? Feel? does anyone give a damn??

after all, a "common man".. no name, no creed, no pedegree (well almost dog-like).. :) but then, even a dog has a name, a pedegree.. and if it is lucky, is escorted to a dog show even :)

Well well... lets hear from the common man himself, what he has to say.... about himself, of course...