Our common man has a very inquisitive mind.. something or the other always seems to float thru his restless brains and he isn’t at peace till he finds a plausible answer to them..
The latest to haunt him is a subject called ‘parenthood’, or more specifically, ‘fatherhood’… did I mention that our man is married with a girl child? Now, it’s of course a different subject that he is not close to his family and that there seems to be a Chinese wall built between him and the mother-daughter duo.. but the fact is, he feels emotionally disturbed about being not-such-a-good father, after all..
But, can someone please help me in making him understand that he is not the first bad-father in this world, and certainly not going to be the last one! In fact, if we look around us, there are enough and more examples of fathers who have been absolutely disastrous in their parental roles !
Who better can be an example than Gandhiji himself?? Popularly known as the “father of the nation”, he has been a complete stranger to his 1st born, Harilal Gandhi (who later on became an alcoholic, embraced Islam to provoke his father, again converted back to Hinduism, before finally dying penniless and an alcoholic)… imagine his son saying that he wished M K Gandhi was not his father !!
Or, maybe Nelson Mandela… completely distanced from his first daughter, who was only a child when he went to prison, and a mother herself when he was released… but Nelson and Mack could never come close, and Mack accepted him “the way he is.. distant and aloof”, and made peace with this knowledge..
The point is, even our national (and international) heros have their own achiness’s heels… so, why cant our common man? Can he not take solace from such learnings? Maybe not, because, at the end of the day, its his own flesh and blood that is severed away from him, and it hurts !!
Reasoning cannot rise above emotions, not at least for common mortals…
Yaar, the common man is the common man, not a hero. If the common feels for his child, he should continue to make all efforts without giving up, even if it is as small as tracking the child's progress, which school she is in, how is she doing etc. etc. Continue sending gifts without any expectations... perhaps the mother will return them, perhaps she will not show them to the daughter... but still if the common man feel strongly for the daughter, he should continue to make efforts.
ReplyDeleteEveryone of us need time, specially from the person we are most attached to.Its not wrong on a daughters' part to demand her father's time and attention. try giving whatever u can,be it in piecemeals, if not integrated.all the best to u.
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